Asking for Help

I think there's a lot to be learned from children.

This week, the lesson I'm taking from my 1 month old son is how to ask for what I need.

Babies don't hesitate to ask for what they need. (Don't believe me? Come on over and spend a couple hours with my adorable, but often fussy, baby.) They aren't inhibited by a fear of seeming needy or weak or of pushing the ones they love away because they are asking for too much. They simply cry out. True, it's not always clear what they need at a particular moment, but it is always clear that they need something. And, although I would deny it if you asked me at 2am when my son is wailing because he wants to eat again, there's something beautiful about being able to cry out for help without any fear of rejection or denial. I suppose those fears are only half of the problem; sometimes it's my own stubbornness that gets in the way of asking for what I need. Sometimes I refuse to ask for help because I don't want to admit I can't do it on my own. Sometimes I refuse to ask for help because I want help to be offered without my having to ask for it. How immature is that? It's funny to think that an infant's response to need-- wailing--is more appropriate than my fearful or prideful response--shutting down and refusing to ask for help, while feeling resentful because help hasn't been offered.

My prayer for this week~

Lord, teach me to cry out without reservations when I need help. Give me the grace to let go of my fears and my pride. In times of need remind me that it is good to ask for help and that you have placed so many loving people in my life who are ready to help me as soon as I let them know what I need. Thank you for little children who teach us what it means to depend on You, our Father.

The soul of a woman

"The soul of a woman must therefore be expansive and open to all human beings; 
it must be quiet so that no small weak flame will be extinguished by stormy winds; 
warm so as not to benumb fragile buds; 
clear, so that no vermin will settle in dark corners and recesses; 
self-contained, so that no invasions from without can imperil the inner life; 
empty of itself, in order that extraneous life may have room in it;
finally, mistress of itself and also of its body, so that the entire person is readily at the disposal of every call.
This is an ideal image of the gestalt of the feminine soul."
- St. Edith Stein

in love.

“You are everything to me, I give myself totally to you, forever”: this is the commitment that springs from the heart of every person who is sincerely in love. – Blessed John Paul The Great

Papa Ben.

Words spoken to my heart.

love people.

Big Books.

a force of BEAUTY.

love > weakness

"Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness." -Mother Teresa

True Love.

‎"Do not forget that true love sets no conditions; it does not calculate or complain, but simply loves." 
Blessed John Paul II

Glow.

At the end of my first week of teaching I had a friend comment that I was glowing.
Well that was not what I was expecting!
After a week of lack of sleep, scrambling, and, quite honestly, a decent amount of B.S.ing (pardon my French abbreviation!) I was expecting something quite different than a heavenly glow to be surrounding me. Palpable anxiety-- possiblely. Visible exhaustion-- most definitely. So where was this glow coming from?

I think it came from being quite certain that, no matter how inadequate I felt in my new job, I was exatly where God wanted me to be. Even though I was making mistakes left and right, I knew that He doesn't make mistakes, ever.

Now that's a reason to glow!


Unfortunately, the glow has begun to fade.

Sigh.

For some reason it's so easy to forget that I ever felt so very cetain that I am exatly where I'm suppsed to be. I so often let the uncertainty of life take over the certainty I should have in God and His plan.
I'm realizing now that this isn't an invluntary circumstance but a choice I have to make. Will I choose to be dismayed, overwelmed and de-glowified by the uncertainty Satan tries to throw in my face, or will I choose to stand firm, glow intact, on the certainty that only God can offer?

Today, I'm choosing to glow.

Thankful.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to contribute to Radiant Magazine!

It is a publication with a beautiful mission and it is an honor to be involved with it.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to write for the glory of God-- this is one of my most precious dreams.

Thank you to Radiant Magazine, but most of all, Thank you, God! I can't wait to see what You have planned for me next!

Check out Radiant Magazine's Fall Issue!

tomorrow.

life is going to change tomorrow.
i feel like i should know what to expect, im moving to a familiar house,but yet the thought of moving there, of living there instead of visiting makes it unfamiliar.
i know i'll be seeing my family again soon, but knowing i will be living somewhere different makes the thought of saying goodbye so hard.

im usually not a fan of change. but i don't know how to feel about this one.
i'm thrilled to be starting the next step of my life, but terrified at the same time.

how strange.

mindfulness.

Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.
-Mother Teresa

Marriage Blog Post

I love this blog post about marriage! It makes me even more excited to get married!

You be You and I'll be me

Dear God,

I'm realizing that things are going to be radically different starting 7 days from now.

I'll be moving to a new state and starting a new job.

Shortly after that, I'll be marrying the love of my life, my best friend.

I'm super excited for all these changes, I know it's all part of the great adventure you have planned for my life, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared, terrified, even for it all to begin.

I just keep trying to remember that, no matter what, You're still You and I'm still me; that's never going to change. You will always be there for me, loving me into existence. And I just pray that I continue to grow into the person you've intended me to be.

Love,

me

What's a girl to do?

I want so badly to be like Mary.

She's beautiful. She's pure. She's the epitome of holiness.

She's everything I want to be.

There's just one problem, I don't know how to be like her (and trust me I've tried). I've prayed for the grace to emulate her. I've prayed that I grow in each of the ten Marian virtues. But no matter what, I don't feel like I'm getting closer. She still seems so far out of my league. 

The one aspect of Mary that particularly alludes me is her purity. How do I even begin to mirror her purity; she's called "Virgin Most Pure" for crying out loud! I, on the other hand, am so easily tempted. How do I love as she loves, purely, patiently, giving completely of herself?

I guess I have to remember first of all that Mary was human, just like I am. She was flesh and blood, not some angelic being. Therefore, it is safe to say that she was tempted, although she never gave into temptation and sinned. She is Queen of Virgins, not because she was never tempted, but because she overcame those temptations (by God's grace, of course) and remained pure. 

I can do the same. Yes, it will not be easy, but it is possibly. Mary ought to represent not an unattainable goal but the proof that victory is possible.

What I'm still wondering is: how does one practically live out a love like Mary's, especiallyin a romantic relationship?

Thoughts?

A Much Needed Reminder

Good Question.

"Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?" Corrie Ten Boom